2012 (Two-Disc Special Edition) [Blu-ray]

I labored through the disaster film "2012" last night and I was deeply diisappointed. Not only does this flick have a silly and totally unbelievable storyline, but it runs 2 hours and 38 minutes (should have been no more than 90 minutes) long. Though it does have some excellent special effects, the action scenes are ridiculously funny. I'm sure the producers didn't plan it that way. However, if you just want to see a visual, mindless popcorn pooper, this one is for you.

Before I begin my review, I must introduce myself as an optimist and a very emotional, sentimental person who usually prefers happy endings. I cry at episodes of cartoon shows, and I tend to become very emotionally invested in anything I watch or read. Despite this, I have a soft spot for disaster movies, the more over the top the better. I went into this movie already having enjoyed Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow, but unsure how I would receive this. The trailer wowed me, but I was unsure if I could handle a film of this magnitude. The title of my review ought to speak for itself: far too many come into this film expecting something that is obviously not part of the Roland Emmerich-disaster-film package deal. You ought to know by now that this is Hollywood: there will be contrived coincidences, bogus science and one-in-a-million-chance events happening every time they need to for the purpose of the story. I pity those who snookered themselves into expecting anything less, and do sincerely hope they find the perfectly realistic, even-tempered and dead-serious film about global apocalypse they seemed to have come looking for, even if it hasn't been made yet. I'll begin with the story: It's an adequate vehicle to carry what we all came to see: the world as we know it coming to an end. As I said, I tend to be sentimental, so I teared up at parts, but most probably will not. The characters are, at least, an interesting array of players and most of the ones that we intimately get to know throughout the film will survive through to the end (I'm also not big on character death, so this was fortunate for me). In addition, Emmerich, fortunately, must have heard the legendary Alfred Hitchcock proclaim that even when you're writing drama and suspense, one must, while winding up the viewer tighter and tighter, let them a little loose with a joke otherwise you'll wind them too tight. Now, this is paraphrased, but my point is is that I appreciated the sporadic, but generally well-placed use of the occasional one-liner to let a little tension out. The pacing of the movie left a little to be desired, as while the film got to the action quickly and delivered relentless one-two punches of scenes of destruction and the "ark" scenes were good, the epilogue was far too short, and I ended up wanting a little more exposition on the future of mankind. The science, or lack thereof, behind the movie: Who cares? It's a film. I happen to be a big fan of science, but one should never let it get in the way of a fun story. Moving on. The special effects: Generally, they're well done but can be rather overwhelming. Although, I suppose that was to be expected. Most of the best scenes of destruction were in the trailers, so if you've seen those, you've probably seen most of them. Still, don't let that discourage you: it really is how the scenes are framed that provide much of their impact. It is a decent example of stunning visuals supplemented by the writing behind it. The scenes that existed were stunning, but I couldn't help being hungry for a bit more. The score: I'm a bit of a music geek, so I tend to comment on a film's score as one of my first reactions to seeing it. At all times, the score was appropriate and adequately written, but rarely provided anything exceptional or out of the ordinary for a film score of this variety. It earns a passing grade, certainly, as it does what any film score is meant to do: to elevate the emotions behind the visuals and the writing. To sum up, any viewer coming into this film really ought to know what to and what not to expect. If you know what to expect, and what you're expecting is what you're hoping to see, you will not be disappointed.

I was in the mood for a wild, special effects extravaganza - but I didn't know I'd be renting this bomb of writing, directing, and choice special effects. The director is Roland Emmerich - you'll know him for 'excellent' fare such as Independence Day, Godzilla, The Patriot, The Day After Tomorrow (only Roland would make a global-warming movie about the earth freezing!), and so on. What these movies all have in common is an incredibly-hard-to-swallow over-the-top Karmic irony which sees bad character punished by random, action-oriented coincidence. Horrific disaster is treated like a sort of wonder-of-nature amazement (drinking game: every time they say something like, "you gotta see this!"). You can see the special effect coming from a mile away! The dramatic irony isn't subtle or thought-provoking, it's just obnoxious. One of these days, one of Roland Emmerich's films is going to come true, and he's going to rightfully say, "YOU GOTTA SEE THIS!"

The theory of shifting crusts is not new, but if it did occur, the theory also states that the crust shifts around certain centers which will be unaffected by the shift. Mutating neutrinos? What is that? Once you get by the gibberish, you get into a bad script. The actors did what they could to save it, but when the script goes south, Cusack couldn't carry the load. There are long drawn out ridiculous scenes where Cusack barely saves his family as the world collaspes only inches behind him. Limos and Winnebagos do not handle like NASCARs. Woody Harrelson as a modern day conspiracy prophet gave us some good moments, they should have killed off Cusack instead and kept him. This movie plays on the hype of 2012. It is for suckers.

Years ago, when Independence Day came out this end-of-the-world genre was mind blowing for me. Now it is what you expect from director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, and Godzilla): paper-thin story sets up massive destruction and devastation across the world, while one small group struggles to survive. If you arent familiar with the genre this movie probably isnt for you. For the rest of us who know what to expect the movie performs well. Who cares about 2012? Who cares about Danny Glover or the scientist that was so important to me that I can't even remember his name? Who cares, really, about John Cusack, who after a while you start to feel that maybe he would be Better Off Dead. (I couldn't resist!) What people who watch this film care about is seeing the world get destroyed. (As an aside, I believe that Emmerich's goal is to cinematically show every major city or landmark destroyed in one his films - and I was glad to see Los Angeles get the treatment this time.) Get some popcorn and clear 2 hours for a complete waste of time. In a good way.

We all know the plot by now: the world as we know it ends by 2012. Exactly why or how it ends is irrelevant - it ends and Roland Emmerich has used this opportunity to combine every one of his previous disaster movies into one big orgy of destruction. 2012 takes two divergent paths: that of the people in power (the upper class) and that of everyday folks just trying to get along (the middle class). John Cusack is Jackson Curtis, author of a prophetic book titled Farewell Atlantis, has fallen far short of his dreams. He's a limo driver for a Russian billionaire, is divorced from his wife, and estranged from his kids. Calamity strikes while Curtis is on a camping trip to Yellowstone National Park with his kids, and it just so happens that he finds a prophet of the apocalypse (Charlie Frost, played by Woody Harrelson) Park is the site of a government coverup. Armed with a map of the elites' plan for survival, Curtis returns home to rescue his wife from certain doom by driving a limo across gaping chasms, through collapsing buildings, and around thousands of dead bodies. Sorry, did we not mention the dead bodies? With all the talk of how fun and exciting the special effects are in 2012, it's easy to miss that the film depicts thousands of people dying. They fall off boats, plunge out of buildings, get hit by cars, are crushed by tsnumais, and burned by explosions. They are all displayed in tiny, minute detail by Emmerich's special effects team. This is mass murder, beautifully rendered. Meanwhile, the heads of state from around the world plan to escape - not by spaceship, but by ark, just like Noah. The American President (Danny Glover) acquits himself admirably but his minions do not, and it's a dog eat dog battle as politicians vie for dominance over the military. There's also the matter of having to buy a ticket to get on the arks, fewer than planned because the apocalypse came a bit earlier than expected. The irony is that the only country capable of marshalling this level of manufacturing might is China. 2012 seems to run out of ideas about halfway through and then just starts recycling them. There isn't one but two races for survival as improbable vehicles jump gaping chasms (first a camper, than a limo). There isn't one but two planes escaping from collapsing ground and dodging falling debris. 2012 has one shtick - escape by the skin of your teeth - and plays it over and over. When that gets tiresome, and without the special effects on the big screen it gets tiresome quickly, issues are invented. The improbable climax in the ark rivals the stupidity of everything that's gone before, including: a huge gear that powers a titanic door getting stuck by a power cord, the ark is built so that "if its doors aren't closed the engine won't start," and the fact that, in light of a scientist's plea to treat the unruly masses left behind more ethically, even more die as a result of his altruism. Emmerich has a point to make, and he makes it by blowing up religious and political icons everywhere. The President won't save you. America won't save you. Even God won't save you. The only thing that will save you is a little luck, a lot of perseverance, and Roland Emmerich as your director. This isn't really a film so much as a series of set pieces. Every disaster is choreographed in slow motion so we can take in every detail. As a special effects demo it's great, but as a movie it's merely mediocre.

I'm happy to say I usually don't review disaster movies; may I also say in the same sentence that I'm feeling a serious ambivalence about director Roland Emmerich (10,000 B.C. see my review, INDEPENDENCE DAY, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, all minor favorites, plus INDEPENDENCE DAY II and III in the pipeline). Now comes 2012, which I suppose is a reference to the end of the Mayan calendar--in this case, a reference to the end of the world. Anyway, author Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), meet scientist and super-serious humanity savior Adrian Helmsley (the shape-shifting Chiwetel Eijofor). Maybe between the two of you, well, I don't know, Emmerich has opted to destroy the whole damned planet this time...what can you super-dudes do to help?? Someone should have helped a bit with the soggy disaster scenario: it's harder to understand than REAL science. It was very moving for me to see Danny Glover back in action--as the President of the United States no less--a very nice guy and as I told the wife, I think he's supposed to be President-Obama-as-old-man. He lends this film some of his awesome powers, and the effects are good (not chilling, just good). Overall I don't think there's much that can elevate this film from what it is: an ever-bigger-budget apocalyptic disaster film. They are getting to be ho-hum as hell. Perhaps 2012 tries to be different by making everyone superhuman when it is convenient, as well as the suspension of the laws of physics when they get in the way of the storyline. Example: the pointless appearance of George Segal is in itself a suspension of the laws of physics. My wife, who was bored to tears but watched it anyway, jumped when she saw Woody Harrelson (as loony radio host Charlie Frost) because she hates him, then she said, "They'll let anybody into this movie." To which I had to silence her by saying, "DANNY GLOVER!!"--and it worked. The idea that the government had constructed arks was cool. We thought they were spaceships until I thought how silly it would be to duplicate what was done in WALL-E...however it was a surprise to see how these arks would work. I'll leave that to you if you haven't seen it. If you've seen it, don't spoil for your pals the one cool thing this film has besides Danny. One final note: somehow I resent the use of a Buddhist monk standing in front of the Himalayas as the cover art for this. What is it with Hollyweird and Buddhists lately? Do they think I suffered all those years and wear the silly robes because I aspired to be in pictures??

This movie is without a doubt one of the worst movies ever made .It is so ridiculous and implausible. Its even so bad that its not even one of those movies that is so bad that you enjoy it anyway. Its worse than that. Its two hours of my life that I'll never get back......... Don't just avoid this movie RUN AWAY SCREAMING.....

What a great movie, a real roller coaster ride from beginning to end. The special effects are stunning and the sound only topped by Avatar.

First a rant about reviewers. Why do you review a movie, moan, piss, and WHINE if you know you DON'T LIKE that type of movie? Reviewing a movie to take cheap shots at actors, acting, etc. of a great movie is sad and pathetic. I don't review chick flick/romances because I don't like them, thus it would be unfair for me to whine like most do and review them. If you can't keep an open mind and review a film fairly, then shut up and quit reviewing movies badly. Now the review: First off this IS a disaster/end of the world movie. There is sadness, death and destruction. BUT what I love about this director is that is is NOT all there is to the movie. Many things are just well written to show us how we are humans are flawed and when we come together it works out in the end. Just like The Day After Tomorrow, it keeps you on the edge of your seat and just doesn't stop. Really, this movie DESTROYS The Day After Tomorrow. I didn't think 2012 would be the best Disaster movie ever TO ME, but it is. It is a long movie and should be, to not rush the story. GREAT character development and shows who is "evil" and who is "good" and shows human nature. The religions tones are great and don't rub any religion the wrong way unless you are just to uptight and sensitive. *BEGIN SPOILERS* I see many whine on here about the government getting saved, well DUH! Who would pay for such an undertaking? You also see the evil people in the government get saved, the good people stay and help. The religious tones are GREAT. I loved the crack between Adam and God in the Sistine Chapel, which was just one that showed us that as humans we separate ourselves from each other and the divine and in the end, we should come together. Other religious places are destroyed not just Christian ones. Nobody should be insulted, it is a message to bring us all together. The special effects are mind boggling, from volcanoes, to earthquakes etc. It is just awesome. Seeing the cities fall apart, dumping people, whole building and such around is destruction never seen on film like this before. Tidal waves are monstrous and all the ways the earth is ravished makes you just say "wow". *END SPOILERS* The only negatives is the science in the movie about HOW the earth is going to crap. Not really sound, but just ignore it as it is not there very long. The other thing the main characters cheat death a LITTTTLLLEE to much, not to bad, but it was like "Ok, yet another close call." Not bad, but maybe a few to many. 2012 is based on a real theory/belief that the Mayans thought the world would end on December 21, 2012. You don't have to believe it to enjoy the flix. Shut up, sit down and enjoy it on blu ray and turn the surround sound UP. Stop nit picking the movie and see the true meanings in it, and you will see the movies real meaning.